He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
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I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
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I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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