Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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