The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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