You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
