How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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