WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
