Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize