I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize