I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
