do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
