Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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