Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize