I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
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Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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