I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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