I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
