My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
