Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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