i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
