i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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