Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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