We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
