We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
