Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
