So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
