They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
