All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
