i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
