i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize