barbara walters just said penis...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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