I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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