Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize