I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
