My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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