Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
