No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
