That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
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