Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
