Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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