Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think I sprained my soul last night
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize