im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
