yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize