I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
