addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
