we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
