Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
