I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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