Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
