eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
