At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
