did you get engaged???
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
