Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
