I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
