Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
