Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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