The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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