But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
