Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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