It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You're a waste of cheezeits
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
