I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
