ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
it glows. i had to have it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
