Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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