My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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