I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
